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Talking About Sex With Your Partner

Esther Perel cautions us to be aware of the language we use when defining our lover’s sexual style. For example, calling your partner “vanilla” not only impacts your future perceptions of them (known as confirmation bias) but also limits the potential for change. Furthermore, if your partner realizes that you think they are vanilla, it could build insecurity and possibly resentment. Labeling limits people’s potential. Share and be curious about what you already appreciate, what excites you, and what turns you off. This is so important because sexual preferences and interests can vary tremendously between people and even with the same person over time. Don’t stigmatize your partner’s sexual style and keep sharing your sexual desires and fantasies with each other. 

Esther Perel

Talking About Sex With Your Partner

Science Proves it: Dan Savage Is Right

New research on sex confirms what Dan Savage, author and sex columnist, has posited for awhile - that we should all be “GGG” (Good, Giving, and Game). This article discusses a study from the University of Arizona and Hanover College published in the Journal of Sex Research that discovered subjects rated higher satisfaction in their relationship when their partner was more willing to make sexual changes (in frequency or sexual activity) in order to satisfy their own wishes or desires. These findings seem to be in line with the ancient wisdom: the more you give, the more you receive.

Debby Herbenick

Science Proves it: Dan Savage Is Right